I'll be honest, I've been struggling with this post for a few weeks. First it was going to be about training; where I'm at with the dogs, what I'm working on now that the clinic & trialing year is done, plans for next year, the usual. Then I thought I should really give Rebel Kitten his own post because… well… Truth of the matter is though, I'm finding it difficult to write anything other than a post more fully answering the question some of my friends have been asking. How am I doing since losing Cian? I have that post written. When I finished, I couldn't decide whether I would hit delete or publish. I did neither. The writing of it was, in itself, truly cathartic. There are reasons psychiatrists suggest people keep journals. Just getting your thoughts and feelings out can really aid in healing. Or at least
The past couple of weeks have been tough. No doubt about it. Cian isn't the first dog we've lost and he won't be the last but, in many regards, he was the hardest. I want to take a moment to publicly thank all of you for the kind words, the private messages, the cards, the hugs, the support and the understanding. I've been riding the roller coaster of grief as best I can, trying not to think too much, bouncing erratically from tears to anger, most times settling somewhere in-between as I remind myself to live in the moment. In any case, healing is coming, though it's taking its own sweet time. I read somewhere that if you can tell your story without crying, you're well on your way. Guess I'm not too close to that point yet, but I've been attempting to help it along by doing those things that